There is a Mishna that states: ".. A mitzva brings about another mitzvah, and a sin brings about another sin. The reward of a mitzva is a mitzva, and the reward of sin is a sin." What does this mean? How can the "reward of a sin" even exist? Shouldn't the Mishna say, "the loss of a sin is a sin?"
The story of Joseph and the brothers is a powerful one which addresses these issues head on. When the brothers come to Egypt to buy food and find themselves in front of a Joseph that they do not recognize, he decides to put them through the wringer. He accuses them of being spies, and forces them to bring their younger brother Benjamin back to Egypt with them the next time they come. What was the point of this whole exercise? Revenge? Don't think so at all.
Joseph is referred to as "Yosef hatzadik," or, Joseph the righteous one. This means more than just staying moral in an immoral land. Joseph is a "matzdik," someone who justifies what happens to him. That is how he could be a faithful servant when a prisoner in an Egyptian jail. Other men would've been broken, would have fallen into depression. Joseph took it upon himself to help out all the other prisoners.
The second meaning of "matzdik" is to cause others to be justified. Joseph sought to lift up all those with whom he had contact. His purpose was to help others discover the good in themselves, and improve their own lives. This is the reason he put his brothers through such an agonizing trial of character.
My teacher, Rabbi Aaron Soloveichik ZT"L, explained the brilliant psychological insight of Joseph. Joseph saw that his brothers were consumed by guilt. Now, guilt after a sin is a healthy thing IF it will lead to repentance. There is another kind of guilt which is destructive, and it is this to which the Mishna quoted above refers. It is when a person feels that they are so bad that they can never be good. That is the "reward" of sin that is a sin itself. A person throwing up their hands in surrender will never successfully repent. Thus, they have rewarded themselves with license to sin freely. That mindset is a sin.
The brothers believed that they were irredeemable. When they first come to Egypt, and Joseph accuses them of espionage, the brothers express their guilt to one another. "But we are guilty on account of our brother (Joseph) whose suffering we saw as he begged us to spare him. We did not listen to him." When Joseph hears this, he must leave the room and cry. Certainly it was an emotional moment for him, but his tears were more than simple emotion. He was crying because the brothers were, in effect, saying that they could never properly repent.
The musical notes that these words are read with in the synagogue are called "zarka." This means "throwing," and musically it goes down to the lowest part of the register. It symbolizes giving up, throwing away any hope and sinking into deep depression. The brothers felt they could never repent, that their sin was too great. Joseph, the great justifier, determined to prove to them otherwise.
The Rambam, in the laws of repentance, describes the ideal penitent as someone who "finds himself in the same place, with the same woman, and the same temptation, but refrains from sinning this time." Joseph engineered a situation where the brothers would be in an identical situation with Benjamin to that they were in with him years before. Having planted his cup in Benjamin's bag, Joseph seeks to keep Benjamin as a slave in Egypt, and allow the brothers to return home to their father. I believe that if the brothers had done this, Joseph would never have spoken to them again.
But they didn't! This time, Judah stepped up to the plate and took responsibility. He offered himself instead of his brother. It was safe to assume that some of the bitterness that Joseph had received from the brothers would be transferred to Benjamin, who became his father's next favorite son. The brothers could have easily gotten rid of this favorite as well, without having to lift a hand. But they didn't. That is what Joseph wanted them to see, that they were capable of becoming penitents. He wanted them to feel their own potential to do better.
And so it is when confronting a person who is broken in our eyes. Lecturing, haranguing and criticizing will only make things worse. Somehow, a way must be found to show the person their own potential. They must come to the realization that they need to change on their own. All we can do is show them love despite, not because of, their shortcomings. We don't want to encourage self-destructive behavior, but we do want to build up the self-confidence of this special person. Gentle encouragement to believe in oneself is the way of Joseph, the great justifier.