What Does Judaism Think

There was a person in the Tora who is regarded as being "complete." It is none other than the patriarch Jacob. That seems an odd choice, considering how very human and, seemingly imperfect, he was. After all, he tells the most brazen lie in the entire book of Genesis when he says to his father, "I am Esau, thy firstborn."

We see him taking advantage of his brother, we see him losing his temper with his wife. We see him fighting with the angel, and we see him making the cardinal parenting error, showing favoritism to one particular son.

What's more, his life was one big torment! From the moment he had to run away from his brother, who wanted to kill him, he had troubles. He was fooled by Laban into marrying a woman he did not want, he worked for many years, always protecting himself against being taken advantage of. Later, he spent many years believing his beloved son Joseph was dead. His life ended in exile, in Egypt.

Is that the complete life of a perfect person?

Yes, it is. Judaism does not define completeness and perfection as "success." Our modern definition, which usually includes a nice house, a nice family, some good cars and a membership in the synagogue or church, does not match what Judaism teaches. Those things are all good, but they are not all.

Think about this. Jacob was in love with Rachel. He worked seven years in order to marry her. On the wedding night, Laban, the father-in-law, pulled a switch. He sent his oldest daughter, Leah, to be with Jacob in disguise. How it was that Jacob didn't recognize her, we can talk about some other time! Nonetheless, it happened, and Jacob wasn't very happy in the morning. He found out that he had married the "wrong" woman, Leah, when he really wanted Rachel! He had been tricked, and he had a right to be angry.

And he was, and even said so to his surprise wife. According to the commentaries, he criticized her having pretended to be Rachel in order to get him. But Leah was no fool. These commentaries have her respond to Jacob with a very sharp comment, "And are you Jacob and not Esau?" In other words, you live in a glass house. Don't throw stones. You deceived your father to get something no less important, his legacy and blessing.

What a powerful commentary! To me, the most astounding fact of this story is that Jacob kept Leah as his wife! He had every right to opt out. This had been a false business deal, he had been tricked. Was it reasonable to expect him to remain married to a woman he did not want? And yet, he stayed.

And a good thing he did! Leah became the mother of six of the tribes of Israel. At the end of the day, God's judgment was that this marriage was a great thing.

This is the secret of Jacob's completeness. Jacob is described as having dreamt of a "ladder planted in the earth whose top reaches to the heavens, with angels ascending and descending upon it." I believe those angels represent Jacob himself. There are times in life when he is ascending, doing good works and rising up high. There are also times when he descends, when he makes mistakes and finds himself in trouble. The thing that is crucial to Jacob, however, is that he always remains on that ladder. Jacob accepts the consequences of his actions, and when he feels himself descending the ladder, he always finds the way to turn around and go up again.

Jacob accepted that he was now married to Leah. True, he could've gotten out of it. Nonetheless, he felt that she was the corrective that God sent him. And from his acceptance, the children of Israel were born. The complete person stays on the ladder, accepts what God sends him and never gives up until he reaches that pinnacle.

Any rule or law that is ultimately immoral must be disobeyed. The Nazi laws of euthanasia, racism and institutionalized murder and genocide are the most extreme examples. Contemporary examples include the tragic case of that woman who was disconnected from her feeding tube in Florida, a number of years back. That, simply put, was murder. Judaism allows the withholding of medical care, if the quality of life would be too painful or difficult. Withholding food, however, is murder through starvation. Any form of doctor assisted suicide is outside acceptable practice.

In some cases, a strong sense of personal ethics and courage is required. A soldier given an order that, to his ethical standards, is immoral, must be prepared to suffer the consequences of disobeying. In a most extreme case, a person may not save their own life by agreeing to kill someone else. Say our sages, "What makes you think that your blood is any redder?."

Confusion comes when an order is against one's philosophy or politics, but not one's ethics. Jewish soldiers who do not believe in building Jewish towns in formerly Jordanian areas sometimes refuse to serve in those areas. I believe that is wrong. Protecting people with whom you disagree politically is no violation of any ethical standard. What this type of refusal does is create chaos. An army is charged with defending the citizens of the state. It is not to be a political battleground. Especially considering the high ethical standards of the Israel Defense forces, any soldier should have complete ease of conscience.

All of this raises the critical question of what are ethics, and what are opinions. Is there a concrete list?

Judaism emphatically says yes. The Torah is our guidebook of ethics. It is not, as is often misunderstood, a book dealing with rituals and theology exclusively. Extensive rules of business ethics, societal ethics and interpersonal relationships are interwoven throughout.

Therefore, for example, one cannot say, "I cannot kill anybody." There are situations when killing someone is the only moral choice. Specifically, defending against attackers, or saving others who are under violent assault, may often require killing the pursuer. To not do so is unethical and immoral! "Thou shalt not stand idly by as your brother's blood is spilled." Of course, we pray that such situations never arise.

Ethics are not a matter of personal choice. Rather, the choice is whether to live and choose ethically, or opportunistically. We must recognize that not every human being behaves ethically all the time. No human being is the all-perfect source of ethics. Again, as an extreme, the German soldier of World War II could not claim that the evil dictator of Germany was the ultimate source of all ethics. Even though German propaganda said that, it is a denial of God as the ultimate source of ethics.

Even people who are highly ethical, and highly respected, are not to be mistaken for God. The greatest Jewish scholars and Torah teachers never claim to be sources of ethics. Instead, they are teachers of God's ethics. In a subtle, but powerful, nuance, sages are not referred to as "wise men." Instead, they are called "wise students." Students, because they themselves must study the ethics of Torah in order to teach it. The ultimate source must always be God. Not a politician, media guru, radio personality or movie star.

Many parents leave teaching morals to their kids to others. They are not comfortable with it, they are afraid that, somehow, their kids will reject them. Therefore, they leave the teaching of morals to their children's teachers and school.

Many teachers are afraid to teach morals to their students. They are afraid that there instruction may conflict with what the parents want. Therefore, they leave the teaching of morals to the parents.

Since neither parents nor teachers are teaching morals, then where are the kids learning? The answer, my friends, is either they are trying to figure it out for themselves or they are learning it from their friends, or, most probably, they are learning it from television, Internet, music, and pop media.

None of those influences are going to teach them good morals.

We live in a time of great narcissism. The idea of personal morals is an unfashionable one. If the purpose of life is to feel good, why should I refrain from anything that gives me that? As long as I don't hurt anyone else -- at least too much -- then what is wrong with it? When we fail to teach our children morals and bend over backwards to make them happy, we are spiritually killing them. We are killing the sense of responsibility and community that will enrich their lives and guide them on a proper path.

One of the 10 Commandments is that famous "honor thy father and my mother". Jewish law requires that children stand up when their parents enter the room. That, in and of itself, is a powerful statement. It also subtly shows the child the moral attribute of responsibility. It shows the child that he or she is part of something larger than themselves, and must fulfill their role within that system.

There is a flip side that parents must be aware of. Parents themselves must honor their parents. Your kids are watching how you treat your parents, and your kids learn more from your example than from what you say. If you want them to take their place in your family lineage, then you must do the same.

Parents must also realize that they should earn their honor. They should do it by living up to the standards that they want their children to follow. Children crave order, and are built to learn morals. Parents must teach them in word and in deed. They must not be afraid to say that some things are right and some things are wrong.

We are in a time of spiritual war. Society says that permissiveness is in, and many of your children's friends behave in very permissive ways. It takes a lot of guts to tell your kid that sex before marriage is against your moral code. All of the TV and movies that your kids watch accept that normal high school kids are sexually active. You may feel that you are telling your kid to be a freak and an outcast. It is not easy.

The secret to proper moral instruction of children is to, first of all, have the guts to do it. Have the guts to talk about everything, and explain the correct perspective. When children hear it from their parents, and know that their parents believe in that code and strive to live up to it, that is the best that can happen. Certainly, keeping the kids in a better school atmosphere and better social atmosphere is crucial, but is not sufficient. Even children enrolled in yeshiva Jewish schools are not insulated from the outside world. Parents must step up to the plate.

It's too important to leave to TV. This is our children, they are our future. We must keep our traditions and morals alive through them.

Leaving a legacy is one of the deepest needs that a human being has. Nobody wants to feel that their life was a waste. We all need to know that our presence on this planet has made a difference. Even Captain Kirk, portrayed by William Shatner (no comment on the man's acting abilities), in his final Star Trek movie, is motivated to make the ultimate sacrifice because he will have "Made a difference."

The legacy parents dream of is for their children to succeed and even surpass them. Parents want their kids to live the good values that they teach them. So how do we do it?

The way that Abraham, our patriarch, did it. His legacy was the Jewish people itself. And his method was the method of "walking." Let me explain.

There are lots of aspects of our lives that people can remember. Our legacy, or legacies, can come in so many fashions. Some people want to leave a financial legacy, others wish to leave property, still others wish to leave things they have created, lessons they have learned, rules they have lived by. It's all good, it's all legitimate. But, and pardon my being morbid, what will they write on the headstone?

Do you know what it says on the headstone of Mel Blanc, creator of Bugs Bunny? Yes, believe it or not, this is what he asked them to write: "That's all, folks." When I first heard that, I had a deep laugh and thought it was very superficial. Then, I thought about it some more. And I decided that it is a fantastic legacy that that man gave us.

Yes, he gave us laughter. He made generations of kids smile and be happy. He brought joy into the world, and that is a great legacy. That epitaph, "That's all folks," is one he and his descendents can be so proud of!

Abraham's legacy was the legacy of faith. He taught us to believe, to persevere, to stand up for our values even if it's dangerous to do so. That is the "what" of Abraham's legacy. What is his "how?" How did he make his legacy stick?

Through walking. In the Bible, Abraham walks everywhere. That word is mentioned in connection to his name countless times. "Walk forth out of your birthplace," "and Abraham walked to his journeys," "rise up and walk throughout the land." And many more.

Walking means three things. The first thing is perseverance. Walking is a repetitive motion, step after step after step. Whatever the legacy and values you seek to transmit, you can't live them today and forget them tomorrow. They have to be the very way that you walk, they have to be something you repeat and repeat all the time. That is the first way people will watch you and learn from you.

The second thing walking means is physically doing it. It means, as the expression goes, walking the walk, not just talking the talk. A legacy can't be taught intellectually alone, it must be demonstrated in our lives. Then it will stick.

The third thing walking means is being present. When we walk, we go places. We are physically present in the lives of our children and grandchildren. We show up, we are there. We are not long-distance legacy givers. Legacies delivered long-distance don't fare nearly as well as legacies that are transmitted while holding hands.

And that is the best way to teach kids to respect their parents. When the parents commit themselves to an elevated legacy, and live that legacy day in and day out, walking the walk, and with close connection to their children, respect will come naturally. Respect comes from expecting it, not by force of force, but by force of values and love and honesty.

In the book of Numbers, the Israelites are to be counted by tribes and family. We are given a detailed list of the exact numbers. That, by the way, is the source for the name of the book! The census was conducted by illustrious men, the leaders of their tribes. Why was all of this necessary?

The commentaries say that it was preparation for battle. The Israelites were going to enter into the land, and needed to have a proper army. They were to face two challenges: the danger of battle, and the ethical challenges of warfare. In order to meet both of these challenges, family was critical. The family background of each soldier made all the difference. How?

Firstly, we all need the "merit of our forefathers." By counting the individuals and acknowledging their family heritage, the merit of their forefathers is being stressed. Does this mean that having a righteous ancestry means that I will be OK in every case?

I don't think so. Merit of the forefathers is not the same as a monetary inheritance, for example. It's not that we get a bank account filled with money. It's more like getting a safe filled with money, that we can only access if we know the combination. If we have forgotten it, if we don't live according to the ethics of our ancestors, their merit is inaccessible to us.

So to start with, each soldier must examine their values and learn from the role models of his upbringing. Then, if his ancestors were worthy, he will gain extra reward for following in their footsteps. This may be what he needs to be protected from the dangers of battle.

The second aspect is extremely relevant, especially in today's world. It relates to war crimes. Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch explains that the leaders of the tribes were to exclude from the Army anyone who came from a dysfunctional family background. The concern was that they would commit war crimes and atrocities. When you put someone with a violent and unstable nature in the extremes of battle, they can morally self-destruct.

The historian Richard Ambrose contrasts the way American soldiers treated the Europeans they conquered at the end of the second war, with the way the Germans did. The Germans, as we know, were brutal and barbaric. The Americans, by and large, were exceptionally civil and decent. Why?

Because they were fighting for a value, and that value was human rights and dignity. That value was freedom. The German was fighting for power and conquest, and once he had it, he allowed every base instinct to express itself in brutality. The American saw himself as a liberator, and treated the people, even the Germans, as beneficiaries of freedom. He treated them decently.

Israel has the most ethical army in the world. That is not to say that there aren't soldiers who commit crimes. Unlike any other army, Israel investigates, and prosecutes when these things happen. The codes of combat, and the basic values of the Israeli soldier, are so high that no other army in the world can compare it to them. That is why it is the height of hypocrisy for some of the world's greatest human rights violators to accuse Israel of war crimes.

They might as well revive the blood libel of the Middle Ages. These accusations are completely false, and are not coming from those who support Israel and its right to defend itself.

A Jewish army must be holy. It must let the values of their ancestors guide them and protect them, both from their enemies and from their own struggles. We are proud of the IDF.

Not surprisingly, Judaism is opposed. Sadly, however, there are misconceptions among some about what racism is. They point to the status of the Jewish people as the "Chosen people," as a license for a form of racism. Others are racist against Jews because they resent the Chosen People claim.

In all cases, the racist will explain their views with any "because." "I don't hate them because of the color of their skin, I hate them because XYZ." We've all heard that before. Is it racism? Yes. The minute the word "them" in the sentence above refers to any ethnic, national, or religious group, the racist has identified himself.

Who is one allowed to hate, then, according to Judaism? As King David said in the Psalms, "Those that cause God to be hated, those also I hate." In other words, King David expresses his hatred for those who caused the faithful to exchange their love of God for hatred. Those who perform evil deeds are deemed worthy of hate.

Jews have traditionally been in the forefront of the fight for civil rights. That is based deeply in our tradition. And yet, on occasion we will hear of hotheads in the Jewish community expressing racist sentiments towards Arabs. We all know that an ongoing war between Israel and the Arabs exists. We know that, despite our best efforts, peace has not yet broken out. Is it fair to expect one to not be racist against one's enemy?

Actually, fair is not the question. The question is, what does Judaism think? What does God want?

God tells us. "Do not despise the Egyptian, for you were a stranger in his land." This is shocking. Egyptians enslaved us, beat us, and threw our male children into the river. Some hospitality! Why shouldn't we despise the Egyptian? They were our enemies! They behaved terribly.

The answer is, it is legitimate to despise the Egyptian who beat you and threw your child into the river. But not every Egyptian did that. There were also more Jews murdered in Poland during World War II than in any other country. There were many Poles who cooperated with the Nazis.

And there were more Righteous Gentiles in Poland during World War II than in any other country. The point being that you can never generalize. Just because someone was Polish didn't mean they were going to kill you. They very well might have risked their own life to save yours.

Jonah the Prophet was summoned by God to go and call upon the people of Nineveh to repent. Jonah did not want to, and attempted to flee. Why did he resist? Because he saw in prophecy that the Assyrians that he would save would someday make war on his own people of Israel. Therefore, he did not want them to repent, so that God should destroy them.

Now, Jonah was clearly choosing the welfare of his own people over the welfare of a future enemy. That might seem fair! But God didn't think so, and through the whale, made sure that Jonah fulfilled his mission. The results was that the people of Nineveh indeed repented and were saved.

After this, Jonah was very upset about what he had done in saving Nineveh. He still didn't get it. You see, Jonah made a fundamental ever. He believed you can be racist against your enemy. How else can we explain his preference to see such a large city destroyed? What he didn't realize was that Israel's battle with Assyria will be Israel's fault, because they will not be righteous. And even if Nineveh would have been destroyed, God would have found the appropriate nation to perform His will and chastise Israel.

Then God makes his point clear by causing a tree that had grown overnight and given Jonah shade, to wither and die. Jonah was distraught about the tree. God rebuked him by saying, "You have mercy on the tree that came overnight and disappeared overnight. Shall I not, then, have mercy on the city of Nineveh, with all of its people and living things?"

In other words, every human being is precious in the eyes of God. Those who perform evil should be taught to repent. If they fail to change, then they may be hated. But to hate a nationality, ethnicity or religion, in toto and through generalization, is against the will of God. Each nation is made up of human beings who have great potential, and who are dear to God.

I hope that the hotheads, who are, thankfully, a small minority, will start chanting "Life to the Arabs, life to the Arabs, death to the terrorists, life and strength for the good people." That's what God wants, life. He wants His creations to love one another.

To become Jewish, there are three main requirements. They are: 1. Acceptance of the divine commandments, 2. Circumcision (in the case of a male only), and 3. Immersion in a ritual bath. Traditional Judaism requires all three of men, and the first and third of women. There is no wiggle room, any element missing invalidates the conversion.

I will not elaborate about those movements that seek to perform conversions without the necessary elements. Such "conversions" are clearly of no use. A ceremony, no matter how nice it is, and no matter how beautiful the certificate, is not a valid conversion according to traditional Judaism. There must be acceptance of Jewish religious observance, circumcision for the man and immersion in the ritual bath for all.

It is on the first element that the controversy rages. How does one define acceptance of the divine commandments? Is it an ultra-Orthodox interpretation? Perhaps merely desiring to identify as a Jew should be enough.

It is fascinating how unique Judaism is among the religions of the world! Not only does Judaism avoid proselytizing, rabbis will actively dissuade potential converts from joining the religion. Contrast that with Christianity and Islam, which both actively seek converts. At some point in history, they did so at the point of a sword. Islam still does this, wherever it can.

Why would Judaism push away potential converts? Shouldn't we expect a religion with so few people to seek to expand its numbers, and thus gain more influence in the world? If Judaism believes itself to be the true religion, why shouldn't it welcome converts?

The answer is, Judaism does welcome converts, as long as they are sincere. And, here is a crucial difference with other religions. Judaism does not require someone to be Jewish in order to be "saved." All that is required is adherence to the seven laws of the sons of Noah, the basis for universal morality. They include not killing, stealing, committing sexual immorality, idolatry, blasphemy, consuming the flesh of a living animal, and a requirement to establish a system of justice.

That's it, that's all that is required. All humans who obey the seven rules have a portion in "the world to come," and find great favor in God's eyes. There is no need to convert to Judaism. In truth, there is a very strong argument NOT to convert to Judaism.

Judaism requires 613 commandments. That's a lot more than seven. Once a person becomes Jewish, that is how intense their required religious observance is. Failing to observe those commandments is a sin, and thus we do not encourage non-Jews to accept that responsibility. It's not doing someone a favor to encourage them to accept responsibility without being completely certain that they are prepared to do so. Once the accept the responsibility, and fulfill it, then their reward is certainly great!

For this reason, traditional rabbis discourage potential converts until such time as they are convinced of their sincerity. If the potential converts keeps coming back, and insists that they wish to join the Jewish religion, then they are encouraged to study the details of the 613 commandments and Jewish religious observance.

Thus, the first requirement of acceptance of the commandments, is meant to protect the soul of the potential converts. We want to make sure they are prepared to fulfill this awesome responsibility. Without this acceptance, there is no basis for conversion.

Now, many wish to convert for reasons other than religion. They may wish to convert for marriage, for Israeli citizenship, or for social reasons. If a person wishes to convert solely for the purpose of marriage or practical reasons, and has no intention of observing Judaism, such a conversion is a tragedy. (Born Jews who are not observant are a separate discussion).

Conversion is a responsibility, not a right. To inter-dating couples, who are considering conversion for the non-Jewish partner, I strongly urge you to avoid nontraditional conversions. While they may alleviate an immediate family pressure situation, such conversions will not be recognized by all branches of Judaism. Should your children become involved with partners from a more traditional background, they may face a very difficult situation when their Jewish status is questioned.

I am not urging you to break up the relationship, but rather consider the consequences. I am urging you to learn about traditional Jewish observance, and consider a sincere conversion which will lead you to living a Jewish life. If that does not interest you, I suggest keeping the status quo and making it clear that one partner is not Jewish. If that partner is the woman, the children will be considered non-Jewish and will need to convert authentically should they wish to change that status. It is your free choice, and should be taken with all due consideration.

Within the realm of acceptance of the commandments there is some disagreement as well. My personal opinion is that the "big three" of Sabbath observance, Kashrut observance, and family laws including mikva, are the absolute minimum. Once the potential convert has agreed to observe these laws, as a starting point, I believe they should be welcomed. More orthodox people may require more of a total commitment. My feeling is that a sincere commitment to the basics is worth much more than a total commitment that may not be as sincere, but rather simply to "get the rabbinate off my case."

Conversion is a highly respected act, involving self-sacrifice and commitment. It should not be any less, and to eradicate the core of commitment is to render it a meaningless, social gesture. Inter-dating couples do not need to convert, if they do not intend to lead observant Jewish lives. Simply to do so in an inadequate ceremony, to assuage the guilt of some Jewish parent, is dishonest at best.

All branches of Judaism should recognize the time honored requirements of conversion, and thus preserved Jewish unity and the core commitment that has enabled Jewish survival throughout the centuries.

Is there something genetic that makes the Jews "chosen?" Are we simply born different, with greater innate abilities? If so, is that fair to the rest of the world?

While genetics influences many things, and is a legitimate science, I don't believe it has anything to do with Israel's election. Genetics can influence of IQ, health, appearance and other things, but it does not make a nation favored in God's eyes. God created all of mankind, and therefore he loves them all and affords them equal opportunity to come close to Him. Unlike other religions, Judaism recognizes each human being's right to spirituality and fulfillment. It is a perfect spiritual democracy.

So what is the difference between the Jewish people, say, and the Germans? What is the difference between "the chosen people," and "the master race?" Further, are there differences between Nazi Germany and the ancient Egyptian persecution of the Jews? Well, if I'm asking, then there must be a difference!

To my simple mind, it is simple. The difference is in the vision. This is what has completely defined Israel, ancient Egypt, and Nazi Germany. When a people has embraced a vision for the world, they pursue that vision with great vigor and effectiveness. This is as scary as it is reassuring. Scary, because some nations have very troubling visions for the world. Reassuring, because others have very beautiful visions. The ongoing conflicts in the world are the conflicts of competing visions.

For example, Nazi Germany had a vision of a world dominated by a master race. This race was the strongest, and was to thrive by exerting its strength on the weaker nations. They were to enslave them, exploit them, and, in some cases, kill them. Their vision was one of war and "glory," leading them to domination.

For as long as they could, they fulfilled this vision. They created exactly the kind of world they dreamed of. Only when stronger powers with more humane visions intervened were they stopped. There are nations in the world today was equally scary visions. There is an urgent need for the stronger powers with the humane visions to intervene once again.

Ancient Egypt subscribed to the vision of power as well. However, their vision focused on the glory of Egypt, not on some racial supremacy. They had no need to subjugate other nations beyond the strengthening of their own empire. Other races were not deemed "inferior" and worthy of extermination. They were simply the utensils through which Egypt built up its glory.

There was no nation as valuable to Egypt as nascent Israel. Already back then, we had demonstrated our unique talent. Pharaoh's greatest fear was that the Israelites should "join with our enemies and flee the land." If Egypt really didn't like the Jews, they should have been overjoyed had they left the land. Instead, they did everything possible to keep them in Egypt. This is because nascent Israel helped Egypt achieve its vision of being the most spectacular power of the ancient world.

And therein lies the secret of the "chosen people." We are chosen because of the choice that we, ourselves, made at Mount Sinai. We signed on to God's vision. Just as all the other powers achieved, at least partially, their visions, so shall we achieve ours. The sole difference is that our vision is God's vision. It is a vision of world peace, spirituality, high ethics and human fulfillment. Our vision has kept us going for thousands of years. It will continue to do so until it becomes the reality of all mankind.

What does Judaism think about lying?

In current events, there has been rioting on the Temple Mount. The Arabs have accused the Jews of planning to destroy the Moslem shrines there by digging underground to make the Mount collapse. In medieval times, Jews were accused of poisoning the wells and causing the Black death. And in modern times, Jews are accused of secretly manipulating the world economies for their own benefit (the famous "Protocols of the Elders of Zion").

That these are all lies is obvious. What is fascinating, is that these lies proved so effective in instigating unspeakable violence. What is even more fascinating, is that the people who became violent felt a need to lie in order to do so.

It is similar to what we see in Iran. On the one hand, the president of Iran threatens the imminent demise of Israel. He dreams of a new Holocaust. On the other, he denies the old Holocaust ever happened. Why this exercise in mental gymnastics? If you hate the Jews, why not just say so? If you want to attack, why do you need to lie in order to do so?

The reason is because, at the end of the day, they are also human beings. No matter how evil, there is something in the very material of the human being that requires him to lie in order to sin. What is it? It is the image of God.

"In God's image (He) created him (man)." Our very material is in God's image. Practically, what does that mean?

Well, the Talmud states that God's signature Is "Truth." Truth is at the very essence of creation. Truth is what allows the world to continue to exist. When the Torah prohibits lying, it does not simply say, "Thou shalt not lie." It says, "Keep far away from a false thing."

It's not enough to not lie, one must be on guard to stay far away from it. It is the very antithesis of the godly life that we are to live.

There is a legend in the Talmud about some very holy sages who took a spiritual journey into the heavenly realms. They were warned to not say "Water, water" when they see the "pure marble". I don't think we know what that mystical marble is, but why is it so terrible if they say "Water, water?"

The answer is, the marble actually is so pure that it looks like water. The sages who saw it would think it is water. Yet it is not, and to call it water is an untruth. The Talmud quotes a verse, "One who speaks falsely cannot stand before Me." Thus, even though they felt it was really water, and felt they were speaking the truth, in fact it was an untruth. Especially when one rises to the heights of heaven, one must be truthful. The standard is much higher.

Thus, man has an intrinsic sense of truth. If we would listen to it all the time, we would never sin. And yet, we have an evil inclination. The evil inclination knows that we cannot violate our basic nature of truth. Therefore, what it does is convince us that truth demands our evil behavior. And how does it atdo that?

With lies. Lies are the way we make falsehood seem to be true, and thus get our nature to allow us to behave sinfully.

Let this be a lesson to all of us. The moment we catch ourselves justifying something, we should think twice and ask ourselves what the honest truth is. In this way we can use our divine nature to guide us to a life of goodness, holiness, and truthful accomplishment.

1. Preparation. Take some time to look over the Yom Kippur prayer book. Read the translation. Get to know the atmosphere of the prayers, and when you encounter them in synagogue they will be more meaningful.

2. Define what you need to correct. Sins are one thing. They are an obvious target for repentance. What is more important are character traits. Things often come as a result of character traits. I remember learning that all sin in the trace to one of three character challenges: jealousy, lust, and pride. Working on one's character is the most important work of Yom Kippur. Being aware of where we get into trouble and why is the first step. Deciding on concrete steps to grow and improve is the next step.

3. Apologize to God. This refers to all of the sins that relate between man and God. If someone wasn't careful about keeping kosher, they should admit their shortcoming in prayer and decide to improve in the coming year. If someone didn't pray as well as they could have, they should mention this and determined to improve their prayer in the future.

4. Apologize to one's fellow. Yom Kippur atones for those sins that are directly between man and God. For sins that one has committed to another, one must first obtained the other's forgiveness. Jewish law states that a person should ask forgiveness a maximum of three times. If the other refuses to forgive, one need not ask a fourth time. Nonetheless, if someone asked for forgiveness, we should be forthcoming with it. Nobody should want someone else to be punished on their account. Only after properly asking forgiveness from the other can we then ask God for forgiveness.

An interesting problem is when one has spoken slanderously of another. If the other does not know about it, to tell them in order to apologize might cause more harm than good. In that case, it is best to give a general apology, and not hurt the other person's feelings by sharing what was said. One should, however, seek to undo whatever damage was done by ill considered speech.

5. Dress appropriately. Create the atmosphere for spirituality. On Yom Kippur, we refrain from wearing leather shoes. It is also appropriate to wear white clothing, if possible. White is the color of purity, and creates an atmosphere of great spirituality.

6. Eat a proper meal before the fast. Drink adequately, but do not overeat. I have had a Kol Nidre night challenged by a stomach that was unhappy with the way I ate before the fast.

7. Prepare to be in a good mood. The Divine Presence comes where there is joy. For that reason, Yom Kippur, with all of its solemnity, carries inside a deep joy. Sing along with the Cantor, and let the beauty of the prayers fill your soul. I remember seeing someone so uncomfortable in synagogue that they laughed at every ritual. This is very sad. It may be an effort, but it is so important to open oneself to what is happening in synagogue. Even if you don't attend during the entire year, and don't really know what is going on, make a mental decision to be open to try to sing along, to reading the prayers in English, to saying them with as much sincerity as you can muster.

8. Maintain the dignity of the day. What you do when you leave the synagogue? How about keeping the television off? Try creating an atmosphere of sanctity and quiet in your home throughout the day. Don't plan to travel or distract yourself with novels or music or anything else. Consider taking a quiet walk, meditating, or reading about self-improvement or the meaning of the day.

9. Be in synagogue as much as possible. You will be surrounded by people deeply connecting to Yom Kippur. You'll be surrounded by strong Jewish feeling, melody, prayer, and inspiration. Stay after the memorial service for a little bit, if you can. Avoid meaningless conversation. Be present to Yom Kippur for as much of the day as you can, and Yom Kippur will be present in your life for a whole year!

I wish you all and easy fast and a healthy, happy, and successful year. May you be properly sealed in the Book of Life!